It’s been a long time since I’ve been on here. Thomas and I got together, broke up a couple years later, went through a bunch of man whore bullshit…but we’re working through it. I was in a relationship with a sweet guy named Minh for about 8 months…but it didn’t work out. He just wasn’t the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We split on Sunday. Jed and I are no longer talking because he’s an outrageous prick who would sell out anyone over a girl, Ryan and I are not talking much, Stephanie and I are a bit closer than in previous years but still about as flighty with each other as ever.
Thomas and I are supposed to go see Dark Knight together assuming he’s in the mood for it. I can only hope! Otherwise, I’m just fine and happy to spend some time with him here-ish. His place or mine, no matter!
Kelly and I are best friends now. We’re about as close as we can be. We’re totally open about the sex things in life, which is something I never thought I would get to talk about with her…even after marriage.
My major went from English/Holistic to Nursing. I’m really happy with my decision.
I really, really hope that Thomas and I will end up together. I’m so hurt it’s hard to get through it…but maybe one day I can see the man I used to think he was again…instead of the man he really turned into after high school.
It’s hard to know at what point forgiveness should stop, or should it be absolutely unconditional. And if, even at unconditional, does that mean you really need to move on from it? When do you say enough? When do you decide where to quit? I’m struggling very hard with all of these things that have happened between us. I am trying very hard to trust him again. I still wake up every morning replaying the conversation where I found out what he had done to me. I still wake up angry and upset every morning. It’s only been a few months. If I ever have enough time to just chill out and let my mind wander, that’s automatically where it goes. There or his penis. But always about him. I love him, it’s true…but how do I justify forgetting everything he had done? I can only take the time I have to let him heal this hurt by proving himself to be a better man than he was. To prove that the slutfucking shit bag ass hole who I thought was my best friend is gone…and that the man he wants to be is staying, unwavering and forever. I can only hope for the best and try my hardest to hold my heart close while I’m waiting to see what happens.
