If there is such a thing as totems, mine has to be the spider–and I’ll tell you why I find this to be unfair. I have the absolutely most terrifyingly, deeply, disgustingly seeded arachnophobia that I have ever run across. The word spider is bad enough to freak me out and send invisible legs crawling all over my body. Every reflection, fly, dust bunny and string is a spider coming to get me too. The worst part is that phobias are generally conquered by facing your fears but with me, the more I face them, the more terrified I become. As a child I actually used to LIKE spiders and after a series of unmentionable incidents, voila…complete basket case.

So being that spiders are incredibly attracted to me, and ergo I am repulsed by them, I did some research on totems…spider totems to be exact (yes, they are THAT attracted to me).

I have always considered myself a bit “connected” to the universe, a bit of a word-smith (when I really want to sit down and draft something out) and incredibly driven to create….so go ahead and color me surprised when I found out that the meaning behind the spider totem is just about as accurate when it comes to describing my passions and drives as anything. NOW what do I do? I’m not even sure. Maybe I’ll try facing them again thinking that they don’t really want to kill me after all. :/

YIKES.

This was just one of the many pages I looked up (and YES, I closed my eyes and completely covered the screen with my hands before I tried to peek at the page in case there were pictures…and of course there were pictures. :/)

“Try this and see if it applys to your life.

A spider totem teaches you balance –
between past and future, physical and spirit, male and female.
She is strength and gentleness combined.
She awakens creative sensibilities
and reminds you that the past is always interwoven with the future.

Spiders are the keepers of the primordial alphabet
and can teach you how to write creatively.
Her body is shaped like the number 8 and she has 8 legs,
which is symbol of infinite possibilities of creation.
Her 8 legs represent the 4 winds of change and the 4 directions of the medicine wheel.

Spider’s message is that you are an infinite being who will continue
to weave patterns of life and living throughout time.
Do not fail to see the eternal plan of creation.

Those who weave magic with the written word usually have this totem.

Brightest of Blessings,
Shadow”