If there is such a thing as totems, mine has to be the spider–and I’ll tell you why I find this to be unfair. I have the absolutely most terrifyingly, deeply, disgustingly seeded arachnophobia that I have ever run across. The word spider is bad enough to freak me out and send invisible legs crawling all over my body. Every reflection, fly, dust bunny and string is a spider coming to get me too. The worst part is that phobias are generally conquered by facing your fears but with me, the more I face them, the more terrified I become. As a child I actually used to LIKE spiders and after a series of unmentionable incidents, voila…complete basket case.

So being that spiders are incredibly attracted to me, and ergo I am repulsed by them, I did some research on totems…spider totems to be exact (yes, they are THAT attracted to me).

I have always considered myself a bit “connected” to the universe, a bit of a word-smith (when I really want to sit down and draft something out) and incredibly driven to create….so go ahead and color me surprised when I found out that the meaning behind the spider totem is just about as accurate when it comes to describing my passions and drives as anything. NOW what do I do? I’m not even sure. Maybe I’ll try facing them again thinking that they don’t really want to kill me after all. :/

YIKES.
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